It is with great sadness I share about the passing of my grandmother. This past month and a half has seen different things in my life and her life. As things are looking up for me, they began to look down for her.
I got engaged in the middle of April and began to plan my future with this wonderful man.
Within two weeks we had a church (and date) a caterer, and my dress.
That following week my parents showed a picture of me in the dress to my grandmother because honestly, we were uncertain at the time of how long she would be with us.
That weekend, my fiance and I went to see her for a short visit and even had some pictures taken with her.
The following weekend (Mother’s Day weekend) is when things started to take a turn for the worse. On the Friday my grandma fell and the staff at her Assisted Living Home are not allowed to lift residents, so they had to wait for the ambulance to arrive. Thankfully she wasn’t on the floor too long. Then Saturday night happened. She fell while at her bedside (she had taken her button off for the night) and then spent all night on the floor. My fiance and I had decided a few days before that we would make a photo album of our relationship for grandma, so that she could see things progress, even if she was unable to be at things personally.
Continuing into the week, I found bridesmaid dresses (or at least a suitable option for bridesmaid dresses)
That Friday (just over a week ago) she was transferred to a Hospice right next to the hospital.
I was grateful to get to see grandma a couple of times on the weekend and beginning of the week.
In the middle of week we found out that we had a pastor to marry us (finally, I had been waiting on the decision for awhile) and my dress had come in.
Then Thursday came. I was humming and hawing over whether or not to go see grandma. I had plans for the evening and so did my fiance and I didn’t want to take away from either plan, but I decided that since he was going to be out of town for the weekend that we could stop by quickly to see grandma. We got to her around 6:00pm and left her 6:25pm. When I got home, that’s when I saw the news. I was home at 7:00pm and found out that grandma passed away about 15 minutes earlier. We were the last two family members to see her alive.
People have asked me if I would have wanted to be there for her passing. I’m honestly not sure. If it was just a peaceful, she took her last breathe, I would have been alright with it. If you could actually see the pain, then I wouldn’t have wanted to be there.
One of my friends was saying that sometimes the person who is dying knows when someone is with them and they wait to be alone.
I am so grateful for so many things.
I am grateful that I had such a wonderful grandma, always there for us and praying for us.
I am grateful for such a wonderful man in my life that he would give up his plans, his sleep, to be with me in my time of need (did I mention that when he found out about grandma’s passing that he dropped everything and came to me?)
I am grateful that my grandma had the chance of meeting him.
I am grateful that they got to sing together and she could learn of his heart and love for God.
I am grateful that my grandmother knew we were engaged.
I am grateful that she got the chance to see my wedding dress.
I am grateful that I decided to go see her on Thursday before she passed.
And now I am grateful that she is in heaven, with grandpa. Rejoicing. No longer in pain.
Yes, I would have loved to have her here for the next few months. Seen me continue to plan my wedding day and be present for the wedding. But I would not have wanted her to be in pain any longer. And I know that one day I will see her again.