Ok, so I have realized in recent days that when I was younger it was a lot easier for me to speak my mind. Telling people when to do things or that sort of thing. And really this wasn’t just people around my age but people my parents age and even my grandparents age.
Sure there have been certain people in my life that I have gained quick banter with. And typically, these people I have met only 2 or 3 times but hit it off immediately. Either that or I’ve known them my whole life and it’s easy to talk and tease with them.
But then there’s my friends, those that are around my age, that I have known for a handful of years. I wish I could speak up and say what is on my mind. I don’t just want to sit and listen, I want to be able to listen and respond as well. Because if I’m honest, half the time that I sit listening I’m not really paying attention to what is being said. It just goes in one ear and out the other.
I don’t want to speak my mind and offend but I would like to be able to speak my mind just to be able to interact with others. Sure I have lots of friends, but how many of these friendships are true, real, lasting ones? Very few know the real me. That know where my heart is and what I truly desire from my life. As well as things about me, including health issues, I just don’t talk about it and some is important for others to know.