Hard Day

Leading up to today I knew that it would be a bad and hard day. For some reason, birthday’s affect me more than they should. C broke up with me 2 and a half weeks ago and today is his birthday. It shouldn’t be so difficult but it is.

Taking it all one step at a time and one minute at a time, I want to see how this day progresses and turns out.

I’m trying to stay busy as best I can. To keep my head occupied so that I don’t think about him. I don’t know what’s with me and ex’s birthdays but they seem to affect me more than any other day. Work should keep me busy enough today and then I’ve got dinner plans with my roommate and we are going to go see a movie tonight.

Somehow, shockingly enough, I was actually able to use my words and tell her I needed a girls night. That I needed to be busy tonight because I knew it wouldn’t be an easy day for me, so although I accomplished one things I am bad at doing I still feel like my heart is breaking all over again. I miss C. I miss what we had. I wish he would explain things better to me so that I knew what really happened but I am not getting the closure that I wanted and now it just all hurts all over again.


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