Friendships

I don’t know where this came from, but I was sitting with a group of girlfriends last night, seeing as we were all single and it was the one day a year that single females don’t want to be single or at least think about the meaning or significance of the day.

Anyway, as I listen to one of my friends talk, I’m looking around at the amazing women of God around me and all I can think is none of these people truly know me, nor me them.

I mean, I love these girls, maybe some more than others (although I hate to admit that, but it is true) and I’m just thinking these are all surface level friendships. None of them really, truly know me. Not even my roommate.

How come it is so much easier for me to open myself up and be vulnerable to you, who I don’t even know, then it is to these amazing friends of mine?

I’m looking at all my friendships and all of them, maybe even my high school friends, who I’ve known forever, are all surface level friends. I don’t open up to anyone. No one knows me. No one knows my heart. No one knows how I feel about things. No one knows where I stand in life with all of this. The hurt that I have from friendships and relationships. The hurt that I keep bottled up inside. I just want to hide it from everyone but at the same time I wish that I could actually truly open myself up to someone, so that they could see the real me, without me hiding myself away.

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