Ok, after the somewhat emotional week I’ve had, to the long weekend I just put in, and the news I just received, I need to post something. I’m not allowed to say anything on Facebook as of yet as some of cousins are out of town and don’t know yet, but I need to share some of my feelings about this all.
Let’s start at the beginning of it all. My birthday in 2013, I found out the news that my grandmother had breast cancer. It was a case of, whoops, we forgot to tell you. At the time my grandma was almost 90 years old and she felt that she had lived a long enough life that she didn’t want to fight it, no Chemo and no radiation, she would take the Chemo pill and have surgery and that was it. Well, she got over that just fine. 2 years later, she had skin cancer on her lip, it was an easy enough surgery that none of us were worried. This Christmas it came back, under her arm, this time she says she fighting it, she’ll do Chemo, she’ll do radiation. She wants to live. Maybe because she knows she was her 10th great grandchild on the way, maybe she wants to see her last 2 grandchildren get married (although neither of us have a significant other) I’m not sure, but she’ll be 94 this year and she wants to fight.
Anyway, she went for tests and scans last week. Although we haven’t gotten the official results back yet, my aunt was hounding the Dr’s office yesterday and it doesn’t look good. It’s spread, quite a bit. She’s still in good spirits, she still wants to do as much for her grandchild as possible, but this will probably be our last year with her.
It hurts, and although I have shared some of this with friends, the pain is still there.