Speaking Up …

Ok, so my roommate wants me to tell her when there are things bothering me and that I should speak up more instead of keeping thing bottled up inside.

Well, the other day I got so tired of hearing her complain about being tired, and not having enough time to do everything and just wanting to sleep, that I told her to “stop it” (granted it was in a half joking, half serious tone) but she said, “don’t tell me to stop it, I don’t like it” Well, what am I supposed to do? She wants me to be honest with her. She knows that I have trouble speaking my mind and communicating at times. But when I tried to tell her something she didn’t like it and didn’t want me to tell her that.

What am I supposed to do? Not tell her when things are bothering me? Only tell her something bothers me when it doesn’t directly affect her?

Do people honestly enjoy hearing constant complaints? Because I don’t. And I’ve put up with it for quite awhile. Being her constant cheerleader. Encouraging her to get her work done and work on her business.

You don’t think that I’m tired after a long day working with children? Do I really want to come home from 7 hours with kids to an adult that complains just as much as one?

I’m tired. I’m tired of the complaints. I’m tired of listening to it. I’m tired of being told not to speak my mind. I’m tired of being a constant cheerleader when my encouragement gets dismissed half the time. I’m just tired of it!

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One thought on “Speaking Up …

  1. It sounds to me like your temperament is partly Melancholy, partly Choleric. Have you read The Spirit Filled Temperament by Tim LaHaye? Or Wired This Way?
    These books help people understand why folk sometimes clash with us and they help us realise why we find people so different from us.

    It sounds like you ‘don’t suffer fools gladly’ and tell them so, which is a high attribute of those with a Choleric temperament. And when people respond to you negatively, your Melancholic side kicks in. Feeling confused and hurt.

    There is a phrase that although annoying, is true and has helped me.
    “It’s not what you say but the WAY you say it.” It seems that although you have good reason to rebuke, that it comes out curtly and offends many.

    It may seem okay to you if you are a Choleric, but get a pen and write down the names of all the people who have responded negatively to your words. It may be that they are all high Melancholies who cannot bear bluntness and directness. You may have to learn to tone it down with those personalities. The bible admonishes us to be gentle with others and I have had to learn this the hard way too. Being gentle spirited
    doesn’t mean being quiet or a push-over, but treating people kindly by using tone of voice, words and manner that is comforting to them rather than abrupt.

    It doesn’t matter how right you are, how justified you are in getting irritated, if it’s delivered in the wrong way, it will be seen as a slap across the face and maybe that is also why your aunt unfriended you? Your written speech is fantastic – it seems that maybe your verbal speech is the thing to work on, including tone of voice. It’s hard to change, but necessary and I have reaped the rewards of doing so – and so will you. Hugs xx

    Like

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