I Can Do This (I Hope)

Well, today’s the day. Today is the day that A gets married. He broke up with me less than a year and a half ago because he didn’t have time for a relationship and wasn’t ready for what I was looking for (marriage) Now today, he gets married.

I know there are days that I say that I’m good and I’m over him, but just knowing that he’s moved on, he’s settling down, he’s getting married, well, it all hurts.

It doesn’t help that a number of weeks ago I had told my roommate she wasn’t allowed to leave me alone this weekend because of this very thing. But after a couple of different conversations last weekend, I ended up having to remind her. Then she asks if it’s just Saturday day or Saturday night. She’s one of the few that knows everything and I though I could rely on and now she’s forgetting things of importance to me too.

I’m going to try to stay busy today. Try not to think about what today is and why it pains me. I feel like if I’m alone I’ll just lie on the couch and cry all day. If my mind starts to wander I’ll remember what today is and it’ll affect me. I need to keep busy. Not have time to think, but be surrounded by people who care about me and who can hopefully take my mind off of the things that I don’t want to think about.

Ugh, I don’t want to do this, I don’t want to seem like the pathetic one that can’t properly move on from a relationship that wasn’t meant to last and have to rely on friends. But that’s what friends are for, to help you through the hard times, and I feel like something of importance, something like this you shouldn’t forget so easily.


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