Social Introvert

I heard someone the other day describe themselves as a social introvert, and that really go me thinking. I am a social introvert. I crave time with others, whether one on one or even in a group (to an extent) but then I really need my down time too.

I found this online ( about social introverts and it seems fairly accurate:

1. When people assume that a “social introvert” is an oxymoron. Because, y’know, the only type of introvert that exists is the one that is antisocial and gets crippling anxiety around people. Only extraverts are social. I mean, duh.

2. Trying to explain that you can find people both absolutely intriguing and completely exhausting at the exact same time.

3. The realization that social gatherings will forever be your Taco Bell chalupa. You seek it out, you enjoy it in the moment, but you know you will pay for it later. Save time in your schedule for recovery.

4. When the people around you don’t understand recovery days. Because, again, you’re obviously not a real introvert if you like being around people, so why the sudden need to be alone?

5. When friends label your alone time as “antisocial time”. They wouldn’t label going to the gas station “anti-driving time”, so why assume that for your own refueling?

6. Wanting to engage in conversation at a party, but being completely inept at small talk. Don’t these people know it takes energy to be here? I don’t want to waste it talking about the weather. How do I go from radio silence to heartfelt conversations without all the pleasantries in between?

7. The fact that no one gets that being outgoing comes as a direct result of being an introvert. It blows other people’s minds that it actually takes less energy to say whatever is on your mind than it does to chitchat.

8. Realizing that you’ve wasted all your energy attempting small talk and now you couldn’t enjoy a proper conversation if it came gift-wrapped with a bow and a card.

9. That moment at a party when you’ve run out of social. You’ve gone from happy and smiling and singing along to the music to quietly standing off by the sidelines – and now people wonder what’s wrong.

10. When no one around you gets “running out of social”. No, it doesn’t mean I’m tired, or grumpy, or drunk. It means the specific type of energy I use to talk to you dingbats is on empty and that part of me is temporarily powered down.

11. Wanting to find some alone time after running out of social — knowing full well that time by yourself would help you refill — but knowing that there’s really no opportunity to do that. And people tend to look at you funny if you lock yourself in the bathroom.

12. The fact that, sometimes, you just want to observe, but that it doesn’t mean you suddenly became shy. Your social abilities could be running on all cylinders, but sometimes it’s fun to just watch the rest of the world operate.

13. When you explain how a social introvert operates, only to be met with the Clerks quote. Oh, I hate people, but love gatherings? Isn’t it ironic? No — it’s inaccurate.

14. The attitude that social introverts are just “extraverts trying to seem deep.”

15. The fact that you forever find yourself explaining that introversion and extraversion essentially boils down to where you get your energy from and what takes energy for you to do — only to be met with, “…but you’re not shy.”

15 facts about social introverts.

I love my friends and love spending time with them. I do like keeping busy with them. At times it is draining and when I feel done, I’m done. But at the same time, I have a hard time saying I’m ready to leave unless others are also leaving. And when I need my down time, I do really need it. Just me, by myself, not necessarily relaxing on the couch, it can be spent doing things at home, but I do need the time to myself.


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