Introverts in Relationships

Is it weird that as an introvert that I want my relationship status known?

So, on our date on Friday, I finally brought up the dtr (determine the relationship) as I couldn’t wait anymore I wanted to know what we were. Besides it just happened to be 2 months after we originally meet.

A part of me has always wanted to have a relationship status to put up on Facebook. So last night I asked how he would feel about it. Although I’m not sure if he agreed to it because it was something I wanted or because he’s was actually OK with it.

But I’ve always wanted to have the relationship on Facebook. Maybe because then I don’t have to tell everyone, because they’d already know or because I wanted the attention in a silent sort of way.

But either way, it’s out there. We are dating. It is Facebook official. And I am really happy with him.

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Oops

So roommate had been on and off looking for a guy online. I can’t blame her. It’s lonesome and tiring being alone.

Well today she was telling me about a conversation with one guy that she had been taking to for awhile. Then all of a sudden changed things to another.

She said ‘so I’ve started talking to this guy’ and then shows me his picture. I take one look at it and say ‘you know that’s [guys name]’ but she looks at me all blank and puzzled like. ‘Who’s [guys name]’ My response ‘the guy from the summer’

That’s when she started to clue in and decided the conversation was over.

No, I don’t expect her to remember what all of my exes looked like, and she had never officially met him before, but had seen him at an event earlier this fall. I did expect her to at least clue in when I said the name, not act all dense like. Sorry, maybe that’s a little harsh, but have some sense, if I recognise someone right off the bat, get a clue, don’t like you have no idea what I’m talking about.

And … He Kissed Me

Last night we got together for a fun date of mini-golf, but then ended the night going for a drive to a lookout point to see over the city. No, not a make out point, just a lookout.

We walked to the edge and just stood there. Looking out at the city. Seeing the lights. Bring in the stillness and quiet of the nights air. It was the perfect ending to a great night. And although I was thinking standing there looking out at the city would have been the perfect opportunity for him to kiss me. He waited. We waited. Soaking in God’s goodness and enjoying what we could see of his glory.

Walking back to his truck, arm around one another, we were relaxed and enjoying the quiet of each other. Then as we approached his truck, that is when he put his lips on mine. It may have been short, but for him I do know that it was a big step. His first kiss was OUR first kiss. He took a step out of his comfort zone, to bring us together.

He had talked about a future. About our future. Together. And although labels aren’t necessarily necessary. They are to me. To know for sure that we are both on the same page. Now for the figuring out of how to approach the subject of what we are.

I’m Speechless

OK, so a bit of back story as to why I am now feeling speechless …

About a month ago, the guy that I am currently seeing, we will call him E, asked me what I would like for Christmas. I don’t want to expect presents from someone, nor have I even considered getting something for guys I have been seeing over the holidays, but this time I actually thought about it and wanted to do something. So my response to him had been that if he wanted to get me something, to get something that reminded him of me.

After that there was no talk of presents, but I was still thinking of what I could do for him. He had told me at one time that his love language was words of affirmation. This got me thinking, I could write him some letters, and not just any letters, but a Bible verse with a prayer to go along with it. He already knew that I was headed out of town for the week of Christmas, so my idea was to write one letter a day for him to open while I was gone. And although he didn’t mention every letter to me, he did tell me about some of them, that he was looking at the same verses earlier in the day before even reading my letters.

So last night, although he isn’t feeling the greatest yet, he suggested that we go out. We made plans and went out and had a nice evening together. At the end of the evening he was talking about his gift for me. He got the present from his truck and gave it to me. Although I hadn’t read the card while we were together, I did open the present. It may seem like a trivial gift, but he gave me a Spiderman advent calendar, which over the last two years I have gotten into using again. I know the season is over but it is not going to go to waste on me.

But really, the thing that got me speechless was the card. I have read and reread it a number of times since getting it. What he said in it touched me. About God’s love for us and how He sends certain people into our lives for reasons. I’m still at a loss. The words he wrote meant a lot and I’m sure I will continue to read it over and over again.

Questions for the other half

How do you as an introvert cope with dating? I’ve dated a little bit in the past but guys always seem to end things with me because I’m too quiet and don’t open up.

Currently I have been seeing this one guy that I do really like (although don’t want to get my hopes up too much on fear that things will end again and I will be hurt) we meet online, talked everyday for a month (via text) finally meet, gone out a few times, still talk almost everyday (still via text) but he wants me to ask him questions and for the life of me I can’t think of anything to ask. We share the same faith and have similar values, I just don’t know what to ask him.

Frustrations and Quality Time

Why is this so hard to understand? To me quality time is important. And I value different types of quality time with different people. For me my quality time with my roommate is watching TV together. But not super distracted by the phones.

We have a bunch of shows that we watch together. Some of which we haven’t been watching yet but were going to watch them when others ended. Well tonight I find out that she started watching shows without me because she thought I’d already watch them. No, no I hadn’t. I always said I was waiting for her to watch them.

Also, tonight watching some shows she’s barely paying attention. Having me pause the shows or go back so that she can either tell me something or so she can hear what just happened.

I know this is just me venting, but I am annoyed. I’m wanting my quality time and I’m not getting it how I am in need of it. She’s had plenty of time to do her own stuff on her phone that she doesn’t need it to overtake our time together

Change

I don’t like change. I know that there are things about everyone that someone doesn’t like, but telling me that you don’t like something about me and that you want me to stop that is like telling me that you want me to change.

First it was my friend from my ‘Mere Misunderstanding’ posts. When she was telling me that she doesn’t like me correcting her all the time. She wanted me to change. She wanted me to stop being me. If I’m wrong, I’m wrong and will admit it (OK, it might hurt and I might not do it right away all the time, but over time I would)

But now my roommate is telling me things that she doesn’t like about me. I have some phrases that I just say, I don’t even think about them when I say them. But she doesn’t like them and doesn’t want need saying them to her. But it’s just apart of me. I can say them without thinking. I’ve tried not to say one since she told me, because I can understand what she means about it, that when she use having health issues she can’t just switch things. But by asking me not to say things that I just say it’s like along me not to be me.

I want to be accepted for me, not being asked to change for someone. This is me. I want my friends to accept me for who I am and not try to change me. Is it really that difficult to ask?

First Dates

I don’t know why I am getting nervous all of a sudden. I have been talking (well texting, cause I don’t do well with talking) to this guy for about a month now. And the lack of what I had in past relationships, I’m starting to realize what I truly want in a relationship. Things that very few people actually know, because I’m not about to put everything that I want in a relationship on the internet, just in case of a stalker or creeper or something.

Anyway, this guy, we are going for coffee on Sunday afternoon. And as excited as I am to meet him, because he’s showing me what I want in a potential partner without me having to ask for it, well, it’s so thoughtful and meaning. He’s a great guy and I could really see myself falling for him.  

Here’s where the problem comes in. I’m getting nervous (as per usual) I don’t want to scare him off, so to speak, with the fact that I’m not talking much, but do I tell him ahead of time that I’m not always much of a talker? Do I just go with it and play things by ear?

#IntrovertedProblems

Ok, I know this part isn’t about the book, but let me just start with my frustrations about the oh so wonderful ‘hashtag’. There is a time and a place for it, and actually, I don’t even know if it works properly on this site yet because I’ve never used it. Hashtags can be good when relevant, but when I relevant they irritate me. Relevant – instagram, Facebook, twitter (which I don’t use but I think is where they got started) Irrelevant – texts! I have a friend that likes putting hashtags in texts and it drives me bonkers!

Anyway, back to the point of this post. The next chapter in the book #IntrovertedProblems


So very, very true. I may be sitting with my friends, listening to what they are saying (or at times tuning them out) and on my phone because I’ve had too much of people and need a time out for a few minutes. Doesn’t mean that I don’t want to be a part of the conversation, but sometimes it’s what I need for a little bit of a recharge (pg 27)


Oops, I have done this before. Been so caught up in what’s inside my head and totally forgotten about my surroundings (pg 32)


Yes, I did hear you. But one thing lead to another and it got me distracted. Doesn’t mean I don’t care. Doesn’t mean I wasn’t listening. Doesn’t mean I can’t pay attention. It just means I got distracted. Ok, maybe I’ll ask you to repeat something, but I am here for you, I want to listen, just sometimes I get sidetracked by something that I hear (pg 33)