So we’ve talked about my guy friend recently. Things seem to be ok, or, well, decent.
He’s apologized for the way he’s acted, acknowledged the money lent and said he will pay it back (although would be nice to get it back, it’s not a priority for myself) Anyway, things are civil between us, we won’t hang out like we used to but may cross paths in group settings once in awhile. Not my ideal but acceptable.
But onto different broken friendships. I think I’ve mentioned this one in the past. I was her bridesmaid in 2016. My roommate was her maid of honour. A few months after her wedding (January 2017) she decided she needed space, that our correcting her when she made a mistake was too much for her, ie – you want to turn left not right, this is there name not that, etc etc. To us it was little things, to her it was big things. After an awkward, for me, get together with friends that we were both at, I messaged her and explained how I felt. I thought of her as a true friend, that I don’t take my being a bridesmaid lightly and want us to reconnect. So that’s what we did. In March we got together, had coffee (or in my case tea) and sorted things out. Or so I thought. Things seemed to be ok for a few months but then something happened to our friendship. We didn’t spend time together, although I would try to reconnect, they just didn’t. For my roommate there was no change, no reconnection.
Our friendship wasn’t the same. The girl who would be the first I would turn to after a first date was now the last, actually, I wouldn’t even tell her I was seeing someone new.
Come February 2018, I was at a wedding with my boyfriend (now husband) and she was there. Things felt so awkward, so forced, I didn’t like it. Wasn’t happy with the way things were.
Months went by, years even (well, 2) we are still friends on Facebook, I still follow her on Instagram (but more because I’m nosey and want to know what’s going on in people’s lives than for friendship sake)
A couple of months ago, she and my old roommate made amends, they are talking and as it seems friends again.
Anyway, more to the point of all this. The other day I get a random, out of the blue, message from her. She asked how married life is, that I look happy in my photos. So I thanked her for the messaged, answered her, told her how life was and that we are always busy with one thing is another. But that’s it, I didn’t want to go into any more detail. Her response was simple ‘I’m so happy for you’ – that’s it. I don’t know what to respond, or, even if I should. I feel like I’m done with our friendship. I tried to make amends a couple of years ago and it went no where. She’s the one that initiated this conversation, I feel if she really wanted to make amends that she would put more of an effort in.
Am I wrong? Should I be more open? I feel like all that’s happening is me getting hurt over and over from the same broken friendships and I don’t feel like I should put in more effort than seems worth it.
I guess, in a way, that’s how my guy friend feels. I got married and things got distant for my guy friend and myself. I suppose if you look at it, that’s the way they went for my girl friend and I. She got married and things got distant.
Introverted Relationships 